“The Christmas Song” – JT The Piano Man (Adult Humour)


Hi I’m JT
Welcome to The Piano Bar This song is called The Christmas Song It’s that magical time of year
When everyone is full of cheer Looking forward to the holiday break
And as for me I can hardly wait It’s not a glittering Christmas tree
Or the presents underneath I’m not dreaming of a Christmas white
Or a wondrous Holy night You can keep your jingle jingle bells
Santa and the elves can f*** themselves All I want this Christmas is something special
from the Mrs. Yes all I want for Christmas is a… Shall I just pretend I’m fine?
Watch Wizard of the Oz for the umpteenth time Get prepared for the mother in law
Find a face that doesn’t look bored It’s that coldest time of year
Going out when I’d rather stay here And I know they feel the same
It’s a miserable terrible game It’s not the family and friends we miss
Just an excuse to get totally pissed So let’s be frank and on the level
I’m just a horny little Christmas devil ! You can keep your jingle jingle bells
Santa and the elves can f*** themselves All I want this Christmas is something special
from the Mrs. Yes all I want for Christmas is a… Fun time to be had
It’s my wife I want to unwrap Not a jumper or a sweater
Let’s get Rockin’ , fill your stocking! It’s that sexiest time of year
Frisky from mulled wine and beer Kissing under mistletoe
In the bedroom with a Ho Ho Ho! It’s that glittering G string treat
I undo with my teeth It’s going to be a Christmas white
On this wonderful horny night! You can keep your jingle jingle bells
Santa and the elves can f*** themselves All I want this Christmas is something special
from the Mrs. Yes all I want for Christmas Now don’t go thinking
I’m a Christmas stinkin’ ‘Cos I love it
(He loves it) Yes I really do
(He really does) But this season is for the children
And when they’re safe and tucked in bed It’s time for the adults to play instead So…you can keep your jingle jingle bells
Santa and the elves can f*** themselves All I want this Christmas is something special
from the Mrs. Yes all I want for Christmas
You can keep your jingle jingle bells Santa and the elves can f*** themselves
All I want this Christmas is something special from the Mrs Yes all
I want for Christmas And all I want this Christmas
…is you (And a Horny New Year!)

4 thoughts on ““The Christmas Song” – JT The Piano Man (Adult Humour)

  • November 17, 2015 at 10:53 am
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    Rude. Rude, rude, rude. Very funny, utterly bonkers. Love it.

    Reply
  • November 18, 2015 at 4:56 am
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    Thank you. Worried if you found it Rude x 5 times. But 4x is acceptable! cheers JT

    Reply
  • December 11, 2015 at 10:43 pm
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    Here's a suggestion for The Christmas Song lyrics:

    [Hmm] nuts [Hmm] [Hmm] on an open [Hmm]

    Jack [Hmm] nipping at your [Hmm]

    [Hmm] [Hmm] Carol being [Hmm] by a choir

    And folks [Hmm] [Hmm] like Eskimos

    Everybody knows a [Hmm] [Hmm] and some [Hmm] [Hmm] [Hmm]

    Help to make the [Hmm] [Hmm] [Hmm]

    Tiny [Hmm] with their [Hmm] all aglow

    Will find it hard [Hmm] [Hmm] tonight

    They know that Santa's [Hmm] his [Hmm]

    He's loaded [Hmm] [Hmm] [Hmm] and [Hmm][Hmm] on his [Hmm]

    And every mother's [Hmm] is gonna [Hmm]

    To see if [Hmm][Hmm] really know how to [Hmm]

    And so I'm [Hmm] [Hmm] [Hmm] this simple [Hmm]

    To [Hmm] from one to ninety-two

    Although it's been [Hmm] many times

    Many ways, Merry Christmas to you!

    Reply
  • December 18, 2015 at 10:22 am
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    Outstanding stuff JT!!:)

    Reply

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