“AUSTRALIA’S DEADLIEST ANIMALS” – SONG


In Australia we’ve got deadly animals a plenty We’ve got Funnel-web Spiders who’ll murder you and your family. Under every second rock is a Red Back Spider And they’ll kill you just cuz, I dunno, they’re bored or whatever. We’ve got invisible Brown Snakes – who’ll bite you on the foot – And you’ll be dead in 7 minutes. Just like that… Kaput. We got the world’s deadliest creatures all over the place. We’ve got Magpies who’ll steal the eyeballs from your face. But at least we don’t have AR-15’s. We’ve got Great White Sharks who’ll ascend from the deep – And rip ya in half with their razor-sharp teeth. We’ve got Saltwater Crocs who’ll death roll ya to death – and Sea Snakes, who’ll gladly snatch your last breath. We’ve got a Blue Ringed Octopus, no bigger than this – That just sits around in rock pools waiting to kill kids, And even the “Platypus” (a cute beaver duck thing) – Has got a spur on it’s ankle that’ll kill ya in one sting. But at least we don’t have AR-15’s – And at least they can’t end up in the hands, of psychopathic teens. We’ve got Stonefish and Stingrays and Sea Urchins and shit – And hectic fucking homicidal Box Jellyfish. And these jellyfish, they aren’t even sentient beings, they don’t even really do stuff, or know about things, They just float around on the whim of the currents, being pointless non-cognitive murderous cunts. And if that weren’t enough in terms of natural hazards, Here in Australia, THE SUN CAUSES CANCER! But at least we don’t have AR-15’s. And at least they can’t end up in the hands of – Suicidal teens. At least we don’t have an NRA Who spend millions of dollars every day, Buying off politicians not to change old laws. We’ve got Bull Sharks, Cone Shells Saltwater Crocodiles, Honeybees, European Wasps, and Blue Ringed Octopi’s – Death Adders, Bluebottles, Redback Spiders – Tiger Sharks, Tiger Snakes and Lizards that’ll bite ya! We got Sea Snakes, Taipans, Cassowaries, Copperheads – All the creatures of the land and sky and sea that want you dead! Toadfish, Stone Fish, Irukandji jellyfish – Bullants, Centipedes and Ticks that cause paralysis! Thank fuck we don’t have AR-15’s And thank fuck they can’t end up in the hands of Psychopathic suicidal teens. And thank fuck we don’t have an NRA, Who pay millions of dollars every day, Buying off politicians not to change some law. A law that was written 200 years ago – In a time when it took three minutes to reload, a single round of ammunition, and we knew nothing about depression, and you couldn’t fire 45 rounds in sixty seconds. And there wasn’t even such a thing as automatic weapons. And there weren’t 31 Mass-Shootings monthly. But what would I know, cause I’m from another country….

100 thoughts on ““AUSTRALIA’S DEADLIEST ANIMALS” – SONG

  • May 5, 2018 at 2:24 am
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    Hey guys!

    Some people have rightly pointed out that we got a few facts in the video wrong, or some things might be slightly exaggerated, so just wanted to clarify a few things:

    – Funnel Web Spiders lack the dexterity and strength to carry knives, and there's never been a case of a Funnel Web killing an entire family.

    – Blue Ringed Octopi don't just sit around in rock pools waiting to kill kids, they also do whatever else Octopi like to do.

    – Red Back Spiders aren't under every second rock, and they don't bite you because they're bored, they probably do it because they're pissed off about some shit, or scared.

    – Despite the fact that a Magpie will swoop the shit out of you, there's never been a case of a Magpie stealing the eyeball of a happy singing man. Also, Magpies don't have abs.

    – Brown Snakes aren't invisible, they're just hard to see on brown ground or in brown leaves. I think brown ground is more commonly known as dirt.

    – There's no evidence that sea snakes take pleasure in killing people.

    – A platypus is not a beaver-duck thing, scientifically speaking.

    – Stingrays don't wear Universal Solider style cyborg eye-pieces.

    – Copperhead snakes don't wear reflective aviators.

    – Box Jellyfish don't go to counselling and there's never been a single one charged for murder.

    – Both Tiger Sharks and Tiger Snakes don't have actual tiger heads.

    – Most Bull sharks don't have nose rings.

    – There are no lizards with a mouth inside a mouth inside a mouth.

    – Taipans don't look Thai, or any kind of Asian whatsoever.

    – Irukandji Jellyfish are not actually made of dangerous radioactive material.

    – Drop bears are a real hectic deadly thing that we forgot to include.

    That about covers it.

    Sorry, and thanks for understanding.
    Van Vuuren Bros

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  • October 20, 2019 at 3:27 pm
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    Thats right…you are from another cuntry…

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  • October 23, 2019 at 6:17 am
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    Don’t agree with the message but it’s still funny as fuck

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  • October 23, 2019 at 8:07 am
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    The point of the second amendment is to allow the people of the United States to defend themselves in case of the government become tyrannical. The founding father weren't morons they were our best and brightest. They new technology would advance like it always has and that weapons would become more powerful. Also they had repeating weapons back then, ever hear of the puckle gun? It was a crank action piece of artillery.

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  • October 23, 2019 at 9:21 am
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    me, an Aussie
    plays Pubg and lands school like a boss

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  • October 23, 2019 at 9:25 am
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    Pause at 0:40

    HA GOTEM

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  • October 26, 2019 at 11:05 am
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    What if someone made group specialised in killing these animals

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  • October 27, 2019 at 1:44 am
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    Thumbs down from butthurt burgers?

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  • October 27, 2019 at 11:49 am
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    every time I listen to this song I have to applaud

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  • October 27, 2019 at 11:50 am
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    people are saying the roads are the hottest floor here, but I don't think they've walked on sand with no shoes

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  • October 27, 2019 at 12:30 pm
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    🙂 hahaha funny. last lines could be,
    at least the 'other country" is a REPUBLIC,
    when the king came for their guns suppressing freedom…
    they shot him.

    (and he ran)

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  • October 27, 2019 at 2:42 pm
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    Moral of the story: Visit australia, it's a nice place

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  • October 27, 2019 at 7:23 pm
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    All these animals yet people are happy that they don’t have AR-15

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  • October 27, 2019 at 10:44 pm
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    You forgot the metal part of seat belts

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  • October 29, 2019 at 1:30 am
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    Austrailan's fear: magpies
    American's fear: the depressed kid in the back of class.

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  • October 29, 2019 at 9:35 am
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    wholesome

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  • October 29, 2019 at 3:59 pm
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    ɐᴉlɐɹʇsnɐ uᴉ ʞɔnʇs ɯɐ ᴉ sʎnƃ dlǝH

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  • October 30, 2019 at 4:11 am
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    Well if you had ar 15 you wouldn't have those threats lol

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  • October 30, 2019 at 10:18 pm
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    "But what would I know 'cause I'm from another country" <3

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  • November 1, 2019 at 2:37 pm
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    this is like dumb ways to die but like…smarter

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  • November 1, 2019 at 11:45 pm
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    angry americans have entered the chat

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  • November 2, 2019 at 5:29 am
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    if this isn't satire….. i'll show you freedom COMMIE

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  • November 2, 2019 at 8:26 am
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    The bit about the cassowary was offensive to my friend kassidie

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  • November 2, 2019 at 9:01 pm
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    I wish this was the Australian national anthem

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  • November 4, 2019 at 12:52 pm
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    I love this song and I’m Australia it the bestttttt

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  • November 4, 2019 at 10:52 pm
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    Good thing i'm in America :/

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  • November 5, 2019 at 2:36 pm
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    What about the fucking spider that is so big it kills snakes

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  • November 6, 2019 at 1:15 am
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    wasnt it an aussie who shot up the mosque on new zealand?

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  • November 7, 2019 at 3:31 am
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    The funny thing is that all these animals actually live in Australia

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  • November 7, 2019 at 7:23 am
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    True dat

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  • November 7, 2019 at 10:02 pm
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    This song is gunsict not good

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  • November 8, 2019 at 12:08 am
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    The reason we have so many deadly animals here, is because Australia is so perfect that all the animals would prefer to live here because Australia’s awesome.

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  • November 8, 2019 at 10:29 am
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    I touched a blue ringed octopus, i didn’t know it was poisonous, bit I’m alive…

    This obviously means i am immortal

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  • November 9, 2019 at 7:19 am
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    Hello

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  • November 9, 2019 at 2:48 pm
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    this song is just wrong, back in 1776, they did have guns that fired faster than the ar 15, guns that are banned now, and the founding father owned and loved them! also, violent crime rate has not gone down in Australia since the gun ban.

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  • November 10, 2019 at 7:57 am
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    Ay ay im in australia they only KILL u if u annoy them

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  • November 10, 2019 at 10:56 am
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    This is the best song ever created.

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  • November 10, 2019 at 7:34 pm
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    Shark attacks are extremely rare tho! The real ocean danger there is the box jelly! And the stone fish is also extremely dangerous.

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  • November 11, 2019 at 10:52 am
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    I saw a vid and it said cassowaries are everywhere, yeah umm I saw one eating my chips playing competitive mode in overwatch the other day, now I have every golden weapon from its killer instinct

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  • November 11, 2019 at 7:48 pm
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    0.40

    Got em

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  • November 12, 2019 at 5:53 pm
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    I support the 2nd amendment but fuck this song is so catchy

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  • November 12, 2019 at 9:39 pm
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    THIS IS ACTUALLY GOOD

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  • November 13, 2019 at 9:03 pm
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    We don’t have automatic weapons and your police officers are armed to the teeth but I do like the animal part of the song.

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  • November 14, 2019 at 1:59 am
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    Oh yeah don't forget almost all Aussies hate godzilla and love king Kong like me

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  • November 14, 2019 at 9:18 am
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    I am a true Aussie, and I admit that this really happens.

    for a fact, this is true. Show it to your kids.

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  • November 14, 2019 at 1:03 pm
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    What about the worst thing in all of Australia

    Cyclists

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  • November 17, 2019 at 12:05 am
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    I wrote a comment have 1 year ago yay

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  • November 18, 2019 at 12:29 am
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    Sorry to say but we do have AR15s. Get your facts right next time?

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  • November 18, 2019 at 1:38 am
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    Where are the dingoes

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  • November 18, 2019 at 1:39 am
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    At lest we don’t have a r 15

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  • November 18, 2019 at 7:58 pm
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    Tassie boys

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  • November 19, 2019 at 10:16 pm
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    I just get back to this every now and then.
    A wonderful piece of fucking beautiful art.
    As a european, it is a bit odd to understand the idea behind gun laws in the U.S., so I find comfort in this.
    Much love, 0 guns

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  • November 20, 2019 at 8:18 pm
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    When I was younger
    A kid in my class got stung by Blue Ringed Octopus
    He's still alive

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  • November 21, 2019 at 10:48 pm
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    I get this is a joke, but most mass shootings are with handguns, the guns people who are anti gun are ok with

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  • November 23, 2019 at 12:31 am
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    Britain : knife crime
    America : guns
    Canada: maple syrup
    Russia: bears
    Ireland :lack of potatoes
    Australia : the fucking sun
    Snakes
    Spiders
    Sharks
    Crocodiles
    Underwater snakes
    Octopus
    Eagles
    Beaver
    Platypus
    The list goes on

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  • November 23, 2019 at 7:59 am
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    I wish I was Australian I’m American but I’m technically 35 percent Australian so ye I also have cousins from Australia I’ve never been tho

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  • November 24, 2019 at 12:47 am
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    Cringiness and stupidity in one vid that's also a reddit-tier circlejerk about australia. just. wew.

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  • November 24, 2019 at 4:26 am
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    This wouldn't happen if you had AR-15s

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  • November 24, 2019 at 4:54 am
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    What about the cyclist’s??

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  • November 24, 2019 at 7:53 am
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    Platypuses have never killed a human

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  • November 24, 2019 at 9:52 am
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    Please try to get this onto spotify

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  • November 24, 2019 at 10:29 am
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    I went to USA and someone said to me is there somewhere in Australia where something can’t kill u and I said school

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  • November 26, 2019 at 12:36 am
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    Sounds like Australia needs some

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  • November 26, 2019 at 8:53 am
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    Damn, feel sorry for all the Americans that risk their lives everyday to go shopping. Stay safe, don't get shot.

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  • November 27, 2019 at 3:39 am
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    This was great! Haha my little brother showed me this, then I checked out your other songs, none of them beat this 😂 it's priceless.

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  • November 27, 2019 at 6:46 am
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    Fuckin he'll

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  • November 27, 2019 at 8:48 am
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    I’m glad I’m Australian

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  • November 27, 2019 at 9:16 am
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    You forgot about the rangers that burn your eyes when you look at their hair

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  • November 27, 2019 at 10:05 am
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    It’s not the guns that are the problem its when guns end up in people with mental illness that the only problem with our society blaming guns for what happens and not looking at the real facts guns are not dangerous in the right hands guns are class as one of most safest tools in the world

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  • November 27, 2019 at 4:09 pm
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    Brilliant, just brilliant boys. Was a little concerned when the first psychopathic teen looked like Martin Bryant though. But pre 96  was a different time for us all. And remember guns don't kill people, people kill people……with guns 🙂

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  • November 28, 2019 at 5:16 am
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    You can hate the crocs and sharks all you want but you've got to admit they're cheaper than a wall.

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  • November 29, 2019 at 11:25 am
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    Why do we not have AR15

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  • November 30, 2019 at 10:56 pm
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    good I am aus

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  • December 1, 2019 at 6:48 am
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    U forgot the most deadly animal.cyclilist

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  • December 1, 2019 at 10:59 am
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    I love the burns they do about the rest of world

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  • December 2, 2019 at 4:46 am
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    Don't worry ores some good horse there also Australim

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  • December 2, 2019 at 4:41 pm
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    I mean, it’s a fair argument. I’m pretty sure Australia isn’t as bad as AR-15s

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  • December 2, 2019 at 8:44 pm
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    2:19 never seen a black fella in Australia either 😂 just sayin

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  • December 4, 2019 at 9:55 am
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    Rip the brits who took Australia

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  • December 4, 2019 at 9:57 am
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    Hey if yall want to know why the nra and the 2nd amendment is important think about hong kong.

    People having to hold off Chinese police from attepting to beat kids to death. Instead of defending themselfs using actual weapons they must do it with knives and handcrafted bows and shit.

    The second ammendment exists incase of tyranny not for people to act cool or for hunting,we americans arnt just idiots that "think guns are cool" they have an actual use see it as a safety precaution same reason why you have a sprinkler system in a building.

    Will the system go off alot when people light a fire or start smoke that they shouldnt have even started. Yes it will but in the case that the building is on fire the system will put it out saving everyone in the Building.

    Self defense aginst criminals is important but its not the main reason we have a second amendment

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  • December 5, 2019 at 6:38 am
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    An I oop. Magpies are my favourite animals

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  • December 5, 2019 at 10:17 am
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    I love this song 🤣🤣🤣

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  • December 6, 2019 at 8:28 pm
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    °°°°°
    oof

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  • December 7, 2019 at 1:20 pm
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    lets do one for the jews in germany "well at least we can't defend ourselves from the naziiiisss…." weapons are for the people to stand against a government gone rogue you absolute tool. the whole point of the 2nd amendment would be useless if you didn't have access to weapons of the equivalent era. going on about how it were when the laws were made is the stupidest thing ever. it'd be like saying, you only have the right to own swords. there'd be no point! the amendment is about government tyranny!

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  • December 7, 2019 at 3:22 pm
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    You people are brainwashed – AR-15s are barely EVER used in mass shootings, concealable weapons like pistols are used in 90% of shootings, this entire BS is to disarm law-abiding citizens for the government to swoop up in tyranny. Not having guns DOESN'T directly mean that you wont have crime. Switzerland has nearly every citizen with guns in their possession (barely any crime) while Mexico has a total gun ban but one of the highest gun crime rates in the world – Doesn't matter if you DO or DON'T have the weapons, it matters about the CULTURE – Australian Culture is different to American culture. Search up WHY the 2nd Amendment is a thing in the Bill of Rights.

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  • December 7, 2019 at 8:08 pm
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    This needs to be on spotify

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  • December 7, 2019 at 9:11 pm
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    Magpies are pussys here in Ireland

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  • December 8, 2019 at 3:44 am
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    Someone please send this to “Healthy Emmy”

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  • December 8, 2019 at 10:18 pm
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    Why does this remind me of dumb ways to die?

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  • December 9, 2019 at 2:06 am
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    I hate this song

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  • December 9, 2019 at 10:26 pm
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    This should be our national anthem and kids should sing it everyday before school!!!

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  • December 10, 2019 at 1:17 am
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    as an american i feel personaly attacked

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  • December 11, 2019 at 12:52 am
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    This is so catchy

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  • December 11, 2019 at 7:10 am
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    It’s not like Australia can’t get guns we just have better laws

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  • December 11, 2019 at 8:08 am
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    we do have ar 15's and guess what we aint shooting people with them lol just kus you dont know about it dosnt mean people hear dont have them.

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  • December 11, 2019 at 12:09 pm
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    You forgot two things…..

    Hot fucking concrete

    And..

    Fucking cyclists

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  • December 11, 2019 at 12:59 pm
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    Yeah I guess they don’t have ar-15s Because they don’t hunt. The animals do all the hunting.

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  • December 11, 2019 at 10:27 pm
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    I like the octopus part

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  • December 11, 2019 at 11:51 pm
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    Your a idiot if you think you should band AR 15

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  • December 12, 2019 at 11:50 pm
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    There's a baby at the end going into the river, lol

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