In Australia we’ve got deadly animals a plenty We’ve got Funnel-web Spiders who’ll murder you and your family. Under every second rock is a Red Back Spider And they’ll kill you just cuz, I dunno, they’re bored or whatever. We’ve got invisible Brown Snakes – who’ll bite you on the foot – And you’ll be dead in 7 minutes. Just like that… Kaput. We got the world’s deadliest creatures all over the place. We’ve got Magpies who’ll steal the eyeballs from your face. But at least we don’t have AR-15’s. We’ve got Great White Sharks who’ll ascend from the deep – And rip ya in half with their razor-sharp teeth. We’ve got Saltwater Crocs who’ll death roll ya to death – and Sea Snakes, who’ll gladly snatch your last breath. We’ve got a Blue Ringed Octopus, no bigger than this – That just sits around in rock pools waiting to kill kids, And even the “Platypus” (a cute beaver duck thing) – Has got a spur on it’s ankle that’ll kill ya in one sting. But at least we don’t have AR-15’s – And at least they can’t end up in the hands, of psychopathic teens. We’ve got Stonefish and Stingrays and Sea Urchins and shit – And hectic fucking homicidal Box Jellyfish. And these jellyfish, they aren’t even sentient beings, they don’t even really do stuff, or know about things, They just float around on the whim of the currents, being pointless non-cognitive murderous cunts. And if that weren’t enough in terms of natural hazards, Here in Australia, THE SUN CAUSES CANCER! But at least we don’t have AR-15’s. And at least they can’t end up in the hands of – Suicidal teens. At least we don’t have an NRA Who spend millions of dollars every day, Buying off politicians not to change old laws. We’ve got Bull Sharks, Cone Shells Saltwater Crocodiles, Honeybees, European Wasps, and Blue Ringed Octopi’s – Death Adders, Bluebottles, Redback Spiders – Tiger Sharks, Tiger Snakes and Lizards that’ll bite ya! We got Sea Snakes, Taipans, Cassowaries, Copperheads – All the creatures of the land and sky and sea that want you dead! Toadfish, Stone Fish, Irukandji jellyfish – Bullants, Centipedes and Ticks that cause paralysis! Thank fuck we don’t have AR-15’s And thank fuck they can’t end up in the hands of Psychopathic suicidal teens. And thank fuck we don’t have an NRA, Who pay millions of dollars every day, Buying off politicians not to change some law. A law that was written 200 years ago – In a time when it took three minutes to reload, a single round of ammunition, and we knew nothing about depression, and you couldn’t fire 45 rounds in sixty seconds. And there wasn’t even such a thing as automatic weapons. And there weren’t 31 Mass-Shootings monthly. But what would I know, cause I’m from another country….